Now YOU TOO can be one of the select few with their very own Public Defender Watch! I found it on eBay...don't ask me why I was looking for public defender stuff on their site but just know that if you're looking for something (computers, books, DVD's, software, love, money, or sex) there is a good chance you can find it on eBay.
It's not a bad deal for $25 but I think I'd be better off saving the cash for a haircut or a movie this weekend (yes, movies cost about $10 and if you don't sneak in your own drink...another 10 clams!). Not only that but the watches are a bit...how do I say it...chickish? Feminine? Not very manly? All of the above.
I am secretly hoping she loses the modeling thing, quits the public defender office and comes to work out here in California (where she belongs I might add). That way our office isn't made up of just a bunch of old dudes who like to talk about cases every living moment of the day...We can at least have a hot ex-model who works with us and doesn't give us the time of day.
A guy can dream, can't he?
"No, you can't have my hat, you Canadian Mountie Wanna-Be!"
Congratulations to JEN! If you email me (sancho at pdiblog.com) with a place you want your kit sent to, it will be in the mail on Monday! I can send it to an office, or wherever you wish, if you want I can pass it on to another entry winner...it's yours to do what you want!
Future contest will be decided by Blogpoll like I said in an earlier post...just to avoid accusations of favoritism. Good job everyone!
I was scouting the river for some good fishing spots when I came across a black t-shirt that was laid out on a rock. I am a curious kinda guy and after picking it up I was grossed out to find that 80,000 spiders had made their home in it. I quickly dropped it and when I looked down I was even more freaked out to find a black snake curled up on the rock where the shirt had been laid out (yes, I know it was blurry but I was in a hurry and camera kept focusing on the grass).
All I could think of was...please jeezus don't let it bite me. I don't want to die in such a beautiful place by myself. I'd rather die alone, in a disgusting city surrounded by strangers. Luckily the snake lost interest in me as I was about to take the photo and as he took off, the click of the camera combined with the flash freaked him out (I'm guessing) and he came back at me rather quickly. I yelled (at mostly myself for being an idiot) and attempted to get safely in the river when all of a sudden, this happened...
SWEET JEEEEZZZUS! SNAKES CAN SWIM! ARE WE SIMPLE HUMANS NOT SAFE ANYWHERE? GOOD GAWD PLEASE LET ME SURVIVE THIS HORRIFYING ORDEAL!
After I calmed down and watched the snake float peacefully down river, I ran back to my campsite (in my sandals) as quickly as humanly possible, all the while looking out for more snakes and sleeping grizzly bears. I made it back just in time to find that half of my camping friends had eaten "special brownies" and I spent the next 2 hours laughing at them.
Good times, good times.
Sure, it's not very nice, but it will hopefully amuse the three regular readers of this blog and keep them around for just a little bit longer!
I'm still waiting for some cool photographic scales that I ordered to come in that are great for showing measurements (scale) in photographs for use in court. I ordered some extra ones so I could use them as the prize in another caption contest. If any of you attorneys win, you can keep it for yourself or give them to a nice, deserving investigator in your own office.
Note: This contest will run until next Friday (09/23/05) and you can enter as many times as you want, Just put your caption in a comment or you can email me at the contact info provided on my profile. If I can't pick one, I'll have the readers vote on their favorite. Also, I can't credit the photo because it was emailed to me in some stupid forward. If you know where it came from, let me know so I can give the photographer credit.
TRENTON — She's a beachy rock-and-roller from Manasquan, a Jersey Girl right down to her bullet-proof nails, a leather-tough liberal, a wife, a mom, a dreamer, a Disney World addict and a defender of the dreadful.
Allegedlydreadful, she would hasten. Really dreadful, her opponents would say. She is Robin Lord, who, aside from defending peepers, molesters and killers, could be the only New Jersey lawyer who once displayed her thoughts about a judge by flashing him her middle finger.
Mr. X goes on to tell me a few more details about the murder that are both good and bad for our client then he tells me something I had suspected but had no way of confirming until now. He says, "You know, there were two other men involved in the murder than the ones that were arrested." I say, "Really? Why do you say that? " Mr. X had started to scratch his feet with a pencil through his socks and I could hear the distinct sound of aluminum foil and before he could answer me, I said, "Wow, you have some very crunchy feet." Did I just say that? Can I sound like a bigger fucking idiot?
Mr. X pulled off one of his socks to reveal a foil wrapped foot and goes on to explain that in ancient China, when farmers would develop serious cases of foot rot or in his case, the most horrendous case of Athlete's foot a man can have and still be able to walk, the farmer would smear farm animal feces on his feet and wrap them in bandages.
Mr. X said he didn't have any farm animal feces available so he decided to use his own. He was told that any foot ailment would be cured in a couple of days. As he was about to pull off one of his foil socks to show me, I told him it really wasn't neccessary.
In between controlling my gagging, I managed to tell him that it smelled like he was going on a couple weeks of shit therapy but he insisted he had just started a couple of days ago and his feet were improving, I just took his word for it.
I stood up to go and told Mr. X that maybe I could come by another time. He said that would be fine but next time he wanted a tape recorder brought to the intervew to record the conversation and assure that none of his statements are made into lies. I told him a tape recorder would be a great idea.
At this point, I was feeling weak, queasy, and confused from all the shit smell in that house and I just wanted to get out of there. Before I walked out the door he told me, "You know, I was saying earlier that there were two other men that were involved in the murder. Do you want me to tell you where you can find them?" Well, if you know where they are, it would be a good idea to tell authorities or someone, but I would love to know where to find them.
He stood in the doorway of his home again and said, "No, no authorities. I found the two men in my tool shed back behind my house. They broke into it after the murder and hid in it for two days before I found them. I saw some food wrappers near the shed door, that's how I knew someone was inside. When I opened the door, I didn't give em a chance to say anything. I told them I knew what they had done. They said they would pay me to keep my mouth shut. I told them it wouldn't be a problem...keeping my mouth shut, that is."
So where are they? Did they tell you their names? Mr. X says, "They're both still in my shed."
What the fuck? Now I'm queasy, irritated and fucking confused.
"They're still in your shed? I don't understand, it's been like two months since the murder? Mr. X just kind of looked at me like I was a moron and said, "I know. I killed them. I killed them...with ice bullets."
The Public Defender Investigator Network website is celebrating its first anniversary this month. The site has gone through multiple changes and has finally settled down, with a new hosting service and lots of additions. The site is, as the title implies, an attempt to pull together resources, links and information specifically for public defender and indigent-defense investigators. While the site gets hits from across the country, I'm still trying to reach investigators who could use it but don't know about it. If you know of anybody who might benefit, please let them know about the site.
Thank you,
Greg Worthen, Investigator
Colorado Public Defender
