Always The Last To Jump On The Bandwagon

This will probably be my last post for the year...and since nobody will be reading this for the next four days....maybe I'll keep it up for a while. Please be safe out there this New Years!!!

FOUR THINGS - Stolen from Audacity and Peekaboo:

Four jobs you’ve had in your life:

1. Cart Boy: I worked at a golf course cleaning members clubs and rental golf carts, I also learned how to play golf, drive a stick shift, and kiss a woman (in that order). I met my first girlfriend here, and I used to drive to her house in the rental carts (her parents were members at the country club but hated golfing).

2. Flag Football Coach: While going to college, I got a job in the city I was living with the Department of Parks and Recreation. I would always spend the first 5 minutes of football practice taking everyone’s knives away (Don’t worry, I didn’t keep them…I gave them to their parents). I bought them pizza every Friday after our games, win or lose.

3. Repo Man: Yeah, I know, I know. It’s not something I’m proud to admit but I was good at it and it’s where I really refined the art of people skills and skip tracing.

4. Public Defender Investigator: Giddy Up!

Four movies you could watch over and over:

1. Happy Gilmore - Sure, it's not complex...but I laugh my ass off everytime I watch it.
2. Spinal Tap - Who can ever forget...IT'S ONE LOUDER.
3. Amorres Perros - Extremely graphic but an incredible movie to watch.
4. Best In Show - You either really love it or really hate it. I'm a lover.

Four places you’ve lived:

1. San Francisco, CA
2. Ensenada, BC Mexico – Just a few months. Long story, because of a girl and A Cause.
3. Santa Clara, CA
4. Berkeley, CA

Four TV shows you love to watch:

1. Mythbusters – Okay, maybe only the geeks will admit to watching this show, but this is MY FAVORITE! It helps that they have a really hot chick in all the shows now...what? I'm still a guy with a great interest in members of the opposite sex...sue me!

2. Lost – If you haven’t seen it, you won’t understand.

3. American Idol – I hate myself for this…I really do.

4. World Poker Tour – I can’t explain the fascination. Watching everyday schlubs like you and me duke it out with professional card players and taking home hundreds of thousands of dollaritos is something I could do every night! I also love playing NL Hold’Em. I have no excuses...its mindless I know.

Four websites you visit daily:

1. Sharebuilder: Cuz I haz ta know about my Hamiltons, ya heard!!! Actually I used Sharebuilder to buy a few stocks and learn about the stock market...Its a long term thing but so far it's working out...For some reason I have to check the stocks everyday...just habit, not necessity.
2. My Yahoo!: It's my one-stop shop for news and email. Great features.
3. Gmail: Yeah, I got more than one email address…what of it? You wanna fight? I really do love Gmail though…especially the Google Talk feature.
4. Searchsystems: I’m going to let everyone in on a little investigator secret. Sure it’s work related but I don’t go a day without using this website to track down sources of information…Nationwide! The big pluses are it’s free and easy to use.

Four of your favorite foods:

1. Albondigas - Not a very appealing photo but SOOO yummy!
2. Fish Tacos - Delicately grilled or fried...I love em!
3. Tamales - It's the holiday season...and that means it's Tamale Time!

4. Sushi - I never imagined being a Sushi lover, yet here I sit... a Sushi lover.

Four places you’d rather be:

1. Costa Rica
2. Fishing…anywhere
3. Surfing in San Diego: Not wild and crazy surf…just 1 or 2 foot. Why? Cuz I’m a sucky surfer.
4. A kitchen, making a spectacular meal for friends and family…one of my few secret joys is cooking.

Four albums you can’t live without:

I rarely listen to these albums from beginning to end…I have most of my favorite songs and listen to them on my cheapo Sony MP3 player.

1. Ramones by The Ramones: They were before my time really, but they were the shit.
2. Vitalogy by Pearl Jam: Near and oh so dear to my heart. I remember making out with a fantastic Swiss chick in the back seat of a car to this album…we were at a drive-in. Good times.
3. The Joshua Tree by U2
4. Sandinista By The Clash

Feeling Oooged Out...If That Could Be A Word

Someone at 7:33am (today) did a search for three words: Sweet Nothing, and Vaseline.

They were directed to my blog.

I feel so dirty.

I wonder if there is anyway I can make money off this?

This Mexican Says ¡No Mas Eva!

I neglected to mention that although my Christmas weekend was great, it was marred by some disturbing and depressing news.

This story on Desperate Housewives star, Eva Longoria and her boyfriend, Tony Parker, caught my attention as I was trying to stuff a banana and honey piece of wheat toast down my throat for breakfast.

Apparently Mr. basketball player/boyfriend was blocking traffic in his fancy ride and a Mexican (You'll find out why it matters in a second) bicycle cop told them to move. When they wouldn't, he gave them a ticket. Apparently Eva told her Parker, He's just a Mexican bike cop! He only wants your autograph!. She denied making the comment.

Ugh.

Normally, I would have been supportive of anyone getting a ticket from a cop but when it comes to movie stars, politicians, and the ultra-rich, I have no sympathy for them. I have worked several defense cases in the private sector that were high profile and I couldn't stand our clients. They felt like they were better than everyone and that you owed them respect because of who they were. Its the one reason that I'm down on most politicians and I love it when their misdeeds become known.

I know she is just a hollywood star but unfortunately, a lot of young Mexican kids look at her as a role model. She is a symbol of someone that made it big even though she was Mexican. Sure, I can name a few other Mexicans that would make much better role models but c'mon, most kids, if given a choice of either reading a story about Cesar Chavez and the struggle for farmworkers rights or looking at a hot magazine layout of Eva Longoria...will choose Eva.

I don't know, I can't really put it into words very well. I guess it just irritates me to the core and I wanted to let everyone know. As of today, I am officially boycotting anything pertaining to Eva Longoria or her French boyfriend. For how long you ask? Forever. Unless it's shown that she never made the Mexican bike cop comment.

Nuff said.

The Video Scandal

Good Tuesday everybody! Yes, I had a four day weekend and yes, it was nice to have four very long days to relax but I was getting stir crazy like nobodies business. I didn't bring work home with me like I had planned so I was unable to work any of my cases...in short, I come into work today feeling very behind in my caseload, stressed out, and non-productive. I love it!

It's lunch time, and I wanted to be able to get a quick post in because I'm gonna be working late tonight with no time for more posting. I did a few things this weekend including watching a movie called, The Ringer. For those of you that haven't seen it, I recommend it for a last minute matinee. It's a heartwarming story of overcoming obstacles that will surely earn actor Johnny Knoxville, an emmy nomination.

A good way to end this year, is with a few video clips courtesy of the San Francisco Police Department (Bayview Division). They privately put together a video on city time, using police officers AND vehicles.

You can read more about the scandal HERE.
You can view the video clips at: http://cbs5.com/video/?id=9130@kpix.dayport.com

I guess I'm curious to know what everyone thinks about this. If this happened at the department in your city...would shit have hit the fan as badly or worse?

There are many ways at looking at this but for me, it's purely entertainment...where else can you see cops doing The Crane?

(Photo from KPIX TV)

When You See This, Post It

Repeat: When you see this, post it.

“Now, by the way, any time you hear the United States government talking about wiretap, it requires — a wiretap requires a court order. Nothing has changed, by the way. When we’re talking about chasing down terrorists, we’re talking about getting a court order before we do so.”

– President Bush, April 2004, nearly three years after he authorized secret domestic surveillance by the NSA without court orders or warrants.

Quote courtesy the transcript of Bush’s speech, taken off the official White House website:

Link: http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2004/04/20040420-2.html

(Thanks to Peekaboo for the post)

Almost Eaten Alive

It's been a rainy, miserable week....weather wise. On the work side of things, it's been superb and I get to take tomorrow AND Monday off...can life get any better?

Here is a pic of a dog that could have eaten me alive today. His name is Cuda, and he belongs to the owner of a residence where I was taking some photographs. Cuda is the size of two basketballs stuck together and he would not leave me alone. I tried taking a quick snapshot of him to try and temporarily blind him in an effort to get away but he stuck with me like white on rice (no accusations of racism please!).

I finally gave in and gave him a giant piece of chocolate I had in my camera bag. Funny, he disappeared right after I gave it to him...greedy little bugger.

Ya Damn Right We'll Do A Lineup!

This is what happens when one can't sleep at night and one still has nightmares of being arrested for something he didn't do. I'm innocent, I swear!

The Usual Suspects (with Avatars on their blogs)

The original photo came from a picture of a line-up I took that we did on an attempted 187 case I worked a few months ago. I've grey-scaled it and mucked it up a bit to take away our reflections in the background. It was meant for a post on the jailhouse volunteers they get for live line-ups and how they lure them into doing them with extra bologna sandwiches and an extra hour on the telephone.

Not a bad gig I guess, if you've got nothing better to do while you're sitting around for your case to come up.

Christmas Doo Doo

This is why I love my sister.

She knows I'm going to be away from home again this year and she sent me some presents and a goodie package in the mail yesterday (Clothes and the Balthazar Cookbook, which I can't wait to try out this weekend!). It was all very thoughtfully put together which makes me feel a little bit guilty about what I sent her...not so thoughtfully put together.

She also included a Christmas stocking packed with candy (probably not so great for the gut) and the best part, was this little gem...

It looks like an innocent little raindeer doesn't it? What is that little red bag sitting on the ground behind the little guy....let's take a look.

Oh! It's a bag with presents for Santa! That makes total sense now! Hmmm, wait a minute, I think the tail lifts up...let me see...

AH HA! Christmas Doo Doo shaped candy comes right out!

I know, I know. I'm a very simple person and things like this crack me up...what else can I say?

I'm hoping somewhere there is a George W. Bush plastic doll that does the same thing...maybe with the opening at his mouth?

Another Bummer

***WARNING - NOT INVESTIGATION RELATED WHATSOEVER! ***

You know what sucks? The model LEGO REPUBLIC ATTACK CRUISER from Star Wars that is currently being bid on at ebay is, as of right now, worth about 5 times the price of my personal car...which actually runs and is useful to me.

I love Star Wars but man...this is fucking ridiculous.

That is all.

Stupid Coffee

I like coffee.

I like to drink it in the mornings. I like getting the large size, with 3 Splenda's (I LOVE those things!), and just little bit of half and half.

Sometimes I like to drink my concoction and read the paper.

I usually get my coffee at a nice little coffee joint near the county yard...well, that used to be my routine until this morning.

I walked in and said hi to Missy. She is the coffee girl who always grabs my coffee and saves a paper under the counter for me. I don't have many routines in life, but this is one of them, and I like it.

Missy said hi, we talked about her not having anywhere to go for Christmas and how she was going to spend it with some friends. Another girl (I'll call her Devil Woman) behind the counter whispered something in her ear. I could see whatever Devil Woman had said to her, was just beginning to register in her head.

I was starting to worry. Crap, did I have my zipper down? A booger on the tip of my nose? What the hell? Why is she looking at me that way?

I knew the answer before she opened her mouth.

"You work for the criminals right? Oh my G*d...Yeah, we just got robbed by you guys last month. How can you even work for them?" The whole place got quiet and there were like 6 people behind me in line and 4 people waiting for their stupid mixachino lattes or whatever it is people order.

What could I say? Did I want to explain innocent until proven guilty and constitutional rights to her? Did I even have to?

I think I handled it well, Ummm, yeah. Can I have the Holiday Blend instead?

My little coffee shop had been robbed a few months ago from what I understand. Apparently, I was observed at the courthouse by Devil Woman who was a witness in the case. Somehow she connected me with the PD's office. I'm not sure how, because I know I didn't work the case.

Under the watchful gaze of the other patrons, I mixed my coffee and took my paper out to the car. It looks like I might have to wait a while before I come back. I don't want to chance a booger in my coffee.

Tahoe Pic

Beautiful. I love Lake Tahoe...even when it's ass numbing cold. I took this photo on a trip to Tahoe last weekend with some friends. You can't see it, but the hills behind me are covered in snow. I'm not a big snow dude (ski trips every winter...that kind of crap), but if I was...I'd be living in Tahoe right now.

I think I'm more of a, "drink a lot of booze and send your ass flying down a snow hill on a small piece of plastic, with your ass hanging over the edge" kind of guy.

Yeah, thats me.

We Cannot Kill Humans For Punishment. It Is Simply Wrong.

Alrighty, I'm back to my normal, not so overly, emotional self. I'm blaming yesterdays confused blatherings on what, I don't know. I guess its just a case of my infrequent male PMS?

I feel like I'm thinking with a clear head again. I just needed to relax a little bit and catch up from the weekend (Yeah, I know its Friday but this week has just FLOWN by!) which was busy with gambling in South Lake Tahoe and doing some serious, Cali style, plastic sled shredding on the bunny hill of Spooner Summit...A mouthful ain't it?

I haven't talked about the execution of Stanley "Tookie" Williams for a million different reasons... The main one being that I'm not going to be able to articulate the anger I feel and I can't really add any new thoughts to the idea that he is a man who should have had his life spared. I'm pissed at our Governor, and I'm pissed at all the lemmings who can't get past the "Eye for an eye" soundbites on Fox News or that jackass Sean Hannity's radio/tv show.

The one good thing about it all is that it has reaffirmed why I do criminal defense and why I will continue you to do it in some capacity for as long as I am physically and mentally able.

We (investigators and attorneys) must all continue to fight the good fight and use each other for support and advice as much as possible. I don't care if you're working Misdemeanors, Felonies, or Capital Cases...we have a tremendous network in the private and public criminal defense world and we need to take advantage of it.

Alright. Nuff said. I have reports to catch up on and photos from my trip to Tahoe to upload.

If someone told you, you were going to die today, would you have worn something different?

I had a dream last night. A bad one.

It involved me being accused of murdering someone that was beating the crap out of a friend of mine (in the dream it was her husband, in real life she is a lesbian...yeah, I know I didn't say it was a normal dream). I remember that I was scared shitless because I knew I had committed the murder. I also remember watching the cops searching the warehouse where I had hidden the body behind a huge pile of boxes of Kleenex and everytime they got near the pile of boxes I was yelling at them to distract them.

I don't remember how, but they found the body and they decided that I was going to be executed right there in the warehouse. I kept telling them that I needed to call my friends and family to let them know where I was and that I loved them but it didn't matter. I just remember them all pointing guns and throwing baseball bats at me. When I woke up I remember something had hit me hard in the head...I don't remember how I died.

Weird huh? I think all the dreams are stemming from some crime scene photographs I had to go through on a murder case our office has been working. They were probably the worst I had ever seen.

In my time doing criminal defense, I have worked on approximately 15 to 17 murder cases. I have looked at crime scene photos, autopsy photos, and handled evidence that had the stench of death permanently stuck to it. In another capacity, I have seen, smelled, and touched dead bodies. Death is the one part of this job that I hate the most, but...it's also one of the most fascinating.

The photos I was going through a couple of days ago were of a victim who had been stabbed a few times, then buried...while probably still alive. Pretty simple right? Well, the vic was buried for several months before being discovered. Some of the body looked like it had melted like wax, half was horribly rotted and the other half...the other half looked like the skin of someone who just stepped out of a salon...it looked absolutely normal.

I started really studying the photographs...I mean really looking at the details of each one.

I looked at patch of skin on the victims cheek and I thought, someone probably loved this person. Someone probably kissed this person on the cheek right here, every day before they went to work.

I looked at a tattoo and I thought, Were you with a friend when you got this tattoo? Did you get it when you were young? Did you regret it?

I looked at his hands, or what was left of them, and I thought, Your hands...did you hold your kids hands when they were young? Did they love it when you ran your hands through their hair. Were they comforted when you put them to sleep?

Then I looked at his face...Someone loved this face right? Someone looked at this face everyday and said, I love you. Someone used to kiss this face. Someone kissed this face on their wedding day. What were you thinking when you put on those pants and shirt. If someone told you, you were going to die today, would you have worn something different? Who would you have called to say goodbye?

I'd never dream of doing anything else but still...I sometimes wonder about this job of ours. Have I become a different person than when I started? Of course I have. For better or for worse though? Not worse though...not worse...am I? Would I even know?

This job of ours makes my heart hurt sometimes.

Goodbye Indigent Journal

Alrighty, I've given him enough time for a comeback...Goodbye Indigent Journal and good luck wherever you are. You had some of the best writing out there and I will be keeping my fingers crossed for a comeback!

The Boss Of Christmas

Yeah, I'm still awake.

It's official. My sister has taken over Christmas. Yes, I have a sister...just one. I love her more than anything but really...One is all anyone needs. She's a bit younger than me and she is married...Making ME the big loser of an older brother who can't settle down/grow up and get married or at least stay in a relationship with a woman for longer than three months. She's all great and perfect and I'm the aging (30+ years old) bachelor.

I'm not bitter though.

I say she has taken over because I recieved an email from her a few weeks ago announcing that this year, we (my entire family) are doing a Christmas exchange at home. The reason is, as always, money is tight with everyone and it's easier to just buy one gift. The truth is, it would take me at least two months salary to buy gifts for everyone in the family, so maybe it's not such a bad idea. It's just irritating that my mom didn't call me to tell me this.

Am I being petty? Of course I am, but who made her the boss of Christmas..huh? Who?!?!

I think it bothers me because I'm so far away from home and there is a good chance that I won't make it home for Christmas due to work and other obligations. I feel left out and a little homesick for some reason. It's weird because I haven't lived at home for 13 years...when I graduated from high school.

Okay...now I can sleep.

I Found Some More Candy

Some of you might have read a post a from a couple of weeks ago (The Candy Man Can!) on Lonnie (AKA: Candy Man), a witness in a murder case I worked out of Los Angeles county some years back.

I actually started writing it because every now and again we get witnesses who are homeless (living on the street) or without a home but bouncing around with friends or family. We're sometimes assigned to locate them or in the course of an investigation it is sometimes found that a homeless person can hold a key piece of information to your case and you decide on your own to start the locate.

I have a case right now where I'm trying to find a local homeless guy (still) and it had reminded me that I hadn't finished the story of Lonnie (The Candy Man)....which I SWEAR I will finish this week (no shit stockings...sorry to disappoint). The case I'm working in now is driving me BONKERS right now so I don't want to get all worked up about it.

I hope everyone had a great weekend (yes, I know it's Tuesday now...I couldn't post anything today) I was at a fun little Christmas party on Saturday and I made the trek to the South Lake Tahoe with some friends afterwards....but I'll go into more of that later. It's late, I'm tired and I'm headed to bed.

Two Reasons I'm Becoming A San Antonio Cop:

Playboy models, Danielle Gamba (Reason #1) and Carrie Minter (Reason #2). Can you imagine being a San Antonio Cop and getting called in to arrest these two? Well, other than getting to put these two hardened criminals in cuffs, I think I'd most likely quit the following day...I mean, would it ever get any better than this for a cop in Texas? My guess is no.

I meant to post this the other day but a big gracias goes out to to CJ from Colorado for giving me the heads up. The Smoking Gun really picked up the story and ran with it...you can read more about their arrest here.

Chillier Than A Mofo Around Here!

I Walked out of the house this morning half asleep and freezing my ass off. I had taken a nice 20 minute hot shower only to step out of the house and find that it was below freezing outside and my car was not parked where I left it...in front of the house.

I looked left and I looked right and no car to be found. Where the fuck is my car?

It was early...much to early to be losing my car, so I walked back towards the house trying to retrace my steps from last night. Could I have gotten a ride home last night or something? I already knew the answer thought, No...I didn't!

I walked/ran back out to the street and started to freak out a little bit, Are you shitting me G*d? I write about the crying Virgin Mary statue the day before and this is how you're punishing me? Why couldn't you have given me a mean papercut at work or even allowed some witness go off and deck me instead? It's not even that I have a fancy car (because I don't). It's dependable and not much to look at but it's mine, it's paid for and it's the only way I can get to work!

Damn it!

Wait a minute..what is that black smudge on the street? What the...holy crap! My car is there....only it camouflaged beneath a sheet of fucking ice!

Faith

Ahhh...It's Monday.

Totally non-productive at the office because we had the tech guys in here all day installing FANCY NEW COMPUTERS! The non-productivity sucked but having the new hardware is definitely going to speed things up big time. Uploading digital pics has become instantaneous! I have a good one you'll see in a sec.

Had a great weekend, drinking too much wine and tequila on Saturday night with some old friends. It's amazing how contact with friends and loved ones can really re-energize a person. I need to have weekends like this more often.

Last friday, I made the trek to Sacramento to meet with some other old friends of mine. They were really interested in seeing some fake crying Virgin Mary that had made some news headlines around the country (world?) at a church on the outskirts of the city.

Truth is, I expected to see something that was obviously a hoax but when I got there...I saw something different. I won't say that what I saw the Virgin Mary crying tears of blood but I did see the tears grow on her over the period of an hour. Apparently a few days before the priest had wiped down the statue thinking that someone was playing a prank and the tears came back.

See for yourself, I took a lot of pics but this is the one that came out the clearest. (I think if you click on the image it will show up full size. If not, you can email me and I'll email you the full size pic).

I saw it. I saw something. Part of me...the logical part of me wants to either assume that it was pranksters at work again or some other easily explainable scientific phenomena.

Being a typical Mexican-American, raised as a G*d fearing Catholic, part of me wants to believe that I witnessed some...some miracle. Maybe because I just want validation that there is a greater power out there.

The other part of me, is the part that lost faith in the church. It's that part that lost faith when a family member that I loved was taken in the most horrible way imaginable. Praying at his side in the hospital did nothing to help him (maybe only making us think that we were doing some good). No matter that the prayers came from people too numerous to mention. Why didn't we get a sign or an image back then? Someone or something telling us that he was going to be okay...either on this earth...or somewhere better?

The investigator in me wants to swab the bloodstains with a hemi-stick and see if it's blood or stupid syrup!

The investigator in me wants to tear that fuckin statue apart and figure out where that damned colored liquid is coming from!

The investigator in me wants to interview all those damn priests and do backgrounds on everyone that worked at the church with access to the statue at night.

My heart wants to know that I witnessed something that can't ever be explained.

Feeling Un Poco Blah

It's finally December, it's cold, windy, and super friggin rainy outside. I haven't posted much for a million reasons...

Work is insane right now, I have trials back to back to back to back and the investigation requests just keep piling up and with no end in sight. On the plus side, my murder cases are really coming together and I'm trying to take advantage of the newness of the cases to talk to witnesses who are going to be hard to talk to a year from now when (and if) these things go to trial.

I'm still trying to figure out if I can make it home for the holidays...travel during this time sucks and I'm thinking it might be better to wait until January to visit la familia. I can always just call and send presents right? I just saw everyone a month ago (I hadn't seen them in almost a year until then)!

Hmmm, another Christmas hanging with friend's families or biting the bullet and going home? I don't know, I miss my family and I keep wondering if I'm ever going to have one of my own.

The Tao Of Defense Investigations

What I'm about to say (massive generalizations) might piss some people off, or you might just completely disagree, or you might not really give a rat's ass...there is nothing I can do about any of those reactions...so let me just get on with it.

There are generally two types of investigators that conduct locate investigations:

TYPE 1 - The first type of investigator is someone who goes by the book while conducting a locate investigation. They go to the last known address of a subject, call the last known telephone number, and of course they'll run the typical reports on Accurint, Merlin, DMV or whatever massive database their office has subscribed them to. If they hit don't get any hits, they jot a quick memo to the attorney and say, Unable to Locate. I know I've left out other basics but give me a break here...I'm not writing the PD investigator's bible...yet.

Suuuure the Type 1 Investigator has made an honest attempt and sometimes working in a busy Public Defender Office, you barely have a chance to do even the minimum. But is it enough? Is it enough to just do the minimum? I say no.

TYPE 2 - This investigator does the minimum and then some more. They look at a locate investigation like they're peeling an onion, moving away the outside layers until they got no more layers to pull away (I'm fucking horrible with analogies...so sue me!). They don't just print out these massive reports (culled from credit headers and mailing lists) on people and only go to the most recent address. They take time to piece everything together and follow the most logical trail. They use their skill and dare I say...their intuition to reach their goal.

Type 2 investigators will go to previous addresses where the subject of a locate investigation has lived and figure out if they have any family members and press them for information, They'll talk to neighbors, they'll talk to old roommates and friends, and if their subject is homeless...they'll walk the streets where they are thought to hang out. What I'm trying to say, is that they go the extra step and then take another 4 or 5 steps.

I'm put myself in the Type 2 category. I don't say that because I think I'm better than anyone or even because I want to toot my own horn. I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses. The truth is, I can give you the names of two dozen investigators I've worked with in the past, that are Type 1 investigators and are a zillion times better than I could ever dream of being at talking with and interviewing witnesses.

I'm a Type 2 investigator because I was trained by an old school defense investigator that said the basics are just that...basic. You start with them, and move on until you've reached your investigative goal. Everyone is somewhere,There is nobody that just disappears, Do out of the box thinking, blah blah blah...he used every cliche you could imagine...BUT I have to say I really looked up to this guy. Using just the basics and then getting creative, he was able to track down a witness in the Federal Witness Protection Program...need I say more? I was lucky to be able to learn the ropes from him and I think it's only because of him that I'm a well rounded investigator today.

Where was this long pointless post going you're asking yourself? I don't know. What the fuck was I thinking when I started this...

OH! That's right, I had an investigator friend of mine (Mikey) from Arizona call me yesterday for some help on tracking down a witness (we scratch each others back every now and then). Mikey does criminal defense work in the private sector on capital cases, before that, he worked at a public defenders office for 8 years, and before that...he was a cop (yup, I'm still his friend).

Mikey is a good, solid, type 2 investigator. He gave me a run down of everything he had done and he emailed all the reports/info he had on the wit. He had a lot of time on the case but it was a very important case and he felt he had run out of leads. I told him I would look it over and work on it when I had a chance. When you're working private, and you're charging an attorney an arm and a leg in hourly rates, you usually want to be able to give them results...or else you start losing clients.

To Mikey's surprise, I called him back 20 minutes later with a new home address and telephone number for his witness.

I told Mikey I would sell him my secret database for the price of a nice dinner if I ever found myself in Arizona (Not bloody likely). He agreed...and I told him, You pick up the phone, and dial 4-1-1.

Yeah, for all the fancy databases and tools we have, going old school and calling directory assistance is probably the best way to start a locate. Go figure.