I had the most disturbing thing happen to me at the office this last Friday. I had been in and out of our courtrooms and offices all day, working on some last minute requests with our attorney's, meeting with a couple of client's, generally keeping very busy but all the while hoping I was going to be able to get out early to beat the 3 day weekend traffic. Yeah, it didn't happen.
I did spend a bit more time than I should have, trying to get a hold of one particularly needy client who is always complaining that he can never get a hold of his attorney, even though he himself can never manage to make his court dates, resulting in more than a couple of bench warrants that are ultimately pulled when he shows up and begs for another chance. Really a nice guy, but sweet lordy he needs a new alarm clock to get his ass out of bed on time.
What is it about this needy client that was disturbing? Nothing, I just thought it was something interesting to tell you guys. The really disturbing thing happened when I went to use the men's room inside the courthouse.
It went down like this:
THE MOST DISTURBING INCIDENT
A Story Told In Pictures & Words
When I need to take care of business at work, I usually use the employees bathroom because it gets less foot traffic than the public restroom that also happens to smell like about 150 assholes that have been sitting in the hot sun. I was in a hurry and I needed to go so I made the detour.
Yup, thats me in the bathroom. To the right, you'll see a juror that I had seen earlier in the hallway on a break now coming in to use El Bano. He really did say Sup Bro. For those not with it, Sup Bro = What's Up Brother? Odd question to ask someone standing at a urinal, no?
It wasn't until Mr. Juror was standing right next to me that I realized he was so frickin tall. He was probably about 6'11" and he wasn't really wearing a hat but I'm a pretty artistic dude, and I wanted to really make this image my own...so I did.
Oh yeah, did I mention that the Mr. Juror passed up more than SIX PEOPLE FREE URINALS to stand and pee next to me? Yeah, this really disturbed me in more ways that I can explain. It also didn't help that not only was he talking to me the entire time he took a whizz but he was also looking down at me the entire time. Probably judging me.
I was relieved when he finally left. I couldn't go while he was standing there talking to me less than 12 inches from face so I had to pretend I was peeing the whole time. I'm not proud.
I was wrong in assuming that most guys have read the Dude's Handbook To Being A Dude and would know better than to stand next to a man at a urinal knowing full well that there is at least 1 free urinal that he
could should keep between him and the other guy. So which one should he have used?
It's so, so simple. Let's give eachother a little breathing and peeing room folks. I hate for stuff like this to ruin what would have been an otherwise wonderful day.
See, now I'm too tired to write about Love and Life...at least I spread the word about urinal etiquette. More about Love and Life later.