Alaskablawg, Court TV, And Nancy Grace

In case you've missed it, Alaskablawg, our friend from up north (depending on where you live) went to battle last week on his well publicized murder case. Check out his latest post and catch up on the case at the Court TV website or you can also read the Court TV Trial Blog (my favorite).

If you read the Trial Blog, check out the 10:00am entry in which Alaskablawg is wanting to ask an investigating officer about the Reid interrogation technique brought up in his testimony. I've talked about it before but the Reid Method is like the magic weapon for detectives around the United States. In my most non-legal opinion and in the words of one the greatest cinema attorney's in my time, Vincent Gambini (Played by Joe Pesci), it is pure "bullshit." I guess he was denied being able to ask any questions regarding Reid but I'm curious as to why Alaska prohibits the testimony of experts against it...or maybe I read it wrong.

In a humorous note, Alaskablawg also writes:

The case was on Nancy Grace Monday night. I got the chance to call her 'CNN's High Inquisitor', noting that the coverage was "bombastic and inaccurate" on the
record.

Seriously, go check his site out, read the case, and if you're up to it, maybe leave a few words of encouragement. He hasn't asked for them but sometimes when you're in the middle of "the shit" it's good to know you're not alone.

When the day comes, one more Gambini quote that Alaskablawg might want to try in his closing is this tried and true winner.

PDI Network's New JOB OPENINGS

I've been meaning to post about this but to those readers out there interested in defense investigator positions, go check out the Public Defender Investigator Network. Greg Worthen, the big cheese running the comprehensive site has added a New Job Openings section.

If you work in the industry and become aware of any new openings that aren't on his site, please feel free to email him. This will be a great way for qualified individuals from around the country to become aware of current and future job openings.

We are a small community folks so if we stick together and help each other out, we stay strong and continue to keep our offices staffed with smart investigators!

What To Ask A Potential Juror?

I'm sure many of you have been following the St. Petersburg Times series following the adventures of Charalampos Georgious Demosthenous (Aka: Charley George Demosthenous) a Public Defender in Florida.

I don't really have anything new to add to the discussion that has taken place on the blogs of the true legal bloggers...except pointing out this little nugget demonstrating Charley's people skills while speaking with potential jurors:

"...He looks at a sea of unsmiling faces. He digs himself deeper. To make a point about reasonable doubt, he speaks of leaving the house with the fear of leaving the stove on. "I imagine you like to bake?" he asks an overweight woman, but receives only a blank stare."

Good stuff huh? Astute observations should not always be voiced.

New Legal Series!

Yup, another legal television series focusing on the beautiful people. Gag me with a spoon.

Scheduled to debut in early 2006, "Conviction," from Emmy Award-winning producer Dick Wolf (creator and executive producer of the "Law & Order" -branded series) is a fast-paced, character-oriented series focusing on young Assistant District Attorneys in New York who are confronted with tough, high-profile cases that often challenge
their limited experience. "Conviction" will be shot entirely in New York and the first-season order is 13 episodes.

Unpaid/Paid Interns - Good Or Bad?

I received a very nice response from Meg in Oregon in an email and in the comments section of Becoming A Public Defender Investigator, she was very appreciative of everyone's comments (thanks to everyone that tossed in their 2 cents). Meg raised an interesting issue (that has been raised here before) that people may not get a chance to respond to if they don't read the comments, so I'm reposting a snippet here:

I have a question for all of you out there in the field. I often surf the Portland IndyMedia website because its a forum for local activists and frequently has info related to civil rights and indigent defense. I posted a question there asking if there was a group or "cause" who might need volunteer help related (however remotely) to legal defense. Boy, did I get an ear full from a couple of people. Basically, the gist was that "trainees" shouldn't be messing around with an indigent's clients' future.

Here's the link:http://portland.indymedia.org/en/2006/01/331277.shtml?discuss

This post then inspired another (by the same rather rabid individual) entitled "Public Defenders should go on

strike" :http://portland.indymedia.org/en/2006/01/331593.shtml

I, obviously, don't agree with the negative sentiments expressed in these posts. But I was wondering what you all had to say about this. Do you often face such harsh criticism from your clients and/or the public in general?

Sorry this is so long. Thanks for your time and input.

Meg

I remember last time we had this discussion, it seemed all over the place with some people favoring ONLY paid internships and others saying that unpaid internships were a good way to get your foot in the door also and maybe one that said internships were a waste of time.

Interesting Note: The infamous Kirsten Anderberg, that made the post about Public Defenders going on strike (referenced by Skelly over at Arbitrary And Capricious) is the one that responded most viciously.

Public Defender Hiring!

As a public service announcement for my three regular readers, I wanted to make them aware of new job openings in our industry.

If you live (or don't mind relocating) in Indianapolis, IN, please take note that their PD's office is doing a mess of hiring!

Good news for us and maybe bad news for the clients...why do I say that? If you read the job requirements for Agency Reporter, it's the only one that has a requirement int the Position Summary with: "The person employed in this position shall be well-groomed..." I love it! If you need a job don't be afraid to apply although I would recommend that everyone take a shot at keeping well-groomed. Makes for a nicer courtroom.

Thanks to Ambivalent Imbroglio for the heads up!

Documented District Attorney Misconduct

Wow.

Wow.

Wow!

The investigative news team at the San Jose Mercury News kicks ass! I just finished reading parts 1 and 2 (of 5) in a series of stories the San Jose Mercury News has published, Tainted Trials, Stolen Justice, and all I can say is, this is some good shit.

After reading the available stories, I realize there are going to be those that think that this is an isolated case of super aggressive District Attorney’s on the West coast who have gone beyond serving The People and begun to serve their own egos. I don’t agree, and I promise you that it’s more of a widespread problem than people would care to admit (I’m not being a DA basher, as I’ve said in the past, there are quite a few that I actually like).

No, I don’t think there is some mass conspiracy by District Attorney’s around the country to push their misconduct in the courts to the limit but I think this series is indicative of the results of the pressures faced by the people who decided to take on the job of a prosecutor and the possible results of someone who decides an individual is guilty regardless of the facts that can turn up in a case.

Honestly, everyone in my neck of the woods has heard stories about the Santa Clara DA’s office (not good things). I’m writing about this because it hits close to home and its fascinating to read. The reporters had some great access to the people they were writing about which always makes for a more interesting investigative news story.

Read it and see for yourself. Part 1 and Part 2.

PD Investigator Arrested

I'll admit I was a little bummed out to read a story about a Public Defender Investigator that was arrested for planning with a prisoner to distribute controlled substances (Valium and Oxycontin) in Aiken, South Carolina.

I'm hoping that it all turns out to be complete bullshit.

William Walden Hartman, Public Defender Investigator.

Remember the name.

Becoming A Public Defender Investigator

Before I post about what’s been going on with my caseload, I want to address an e-mail I received late last week from Meg in Oregon.

First off, I receive about 2-3 emails a week from future Public Defender Investigators. Some are investigators that are currently doing civil or criminal work in the private sector and want some advice on getting their foot in the door of a Public Defender’s office, others are people that have never worked in a law office and done any investigation…ever. I usually try to respond to everyone individually, but Meg’s email was very nice and gave me permission to use it in a post so, here it is:

Hi Sancho,

I found your blog online and was struck by a line in your bio:
"I dreamed of doing this work since I was a young pup in college and now...It's my life!"

Though I'm no longer a young pup (I'm a single mom in my mid 40's), I too, dream of being a PD investigator. But I'm having difficulty getting good information on training, education and the best ways to get into this field.

Do you have any advice for me? Any recommendations on good programs of study or coursework I should take? Any thoughts on getting practical experience through a volunteer or entry-level position that would help me break into the field as I continue my education?

I've found a couple of on line legal investigation programs, but I'm unsure of their credibility. I live in Oregon, and none of those programs are based locally. There are a few private investigation programs here, but again, I question their credibility and
they're rather expensive and short. Three are listed with the OR Dept of Ed though.

There are also paralegal programs, but I don't want to push papers exclusively; nor do I want to work in a huge corporate firm.

Any info you can give me would be much appreciated. Thanks for your time.

Meg

First off, it really choked me up to read, I too, dream of being a PD Investigator. There are a few people out there that have the calling to do our work, and I’m so glad you took the time to email me.

I can’t really make any judgment on those home study at Private Investigation programs or schools because my first experience was working for a Private Investigation firm. My gut feeling is to stay away from them and if you really want to use them I would check with the Better Business Bureau in your area and even do a little investigation on your own to see if there are any lawsuits against them at your local courthouse.

You would probably be better served by going to a Junior College or University that offers Criminal Justice courses and take a few just to get your feet wet and learn the basics of the criminal justice system in America.

In California there are several Criminal Defense/Public Defender Investigator specific organizations that run conferences throughout the year. Check out the website at the Defense Investigators Association (CDIA), they have an upcoming conference in May 2006. I would also check with the National Defender Investigator Association (NDIA) which holds conferences across the country and usually holds at least one in California (I keep mentioning California because it’s what I’m familiar with).

Conferences from both organizations are great places for learning, asking questions and most importantly, being able to network with other investigators. Both have reasonable rates for conferences but for you, obviously travel would be a issue and also lodging…just something to consider.

I don’t know if you’ve contacted the State Of Oregon Office Of Public Defender Services, but they might be a good place to start. Find out if they have an intern program (paid preferably), see if you can meet with a supervising or Chief investigator from their local office to talk with them about working at the office and what their day to day life is like.

I think anyone with a little bit of life experience would make a great investigator, and I don’t think you’re ever to young or to get into this work.

This post is a little longer than I had planned but feel free to email me if you think I’m full of shit or if you need some more help. I know I have some stuff saved on disks and binders somewhere, if you want I can email you any training materials I have, which will give you and idea of what to expect in criminal defense investigations and I also recommend you check out Greg Worthen’s, Public Defender Investigator Network. It’s a great place to find training materials and network with other investigators.

Good luck!

Woohoo! Party Time! Err...I Meant, Time for PD Conferences!

Really quick, I want to give everyone a couple links to some upcoming conferences...Yes ladies and gents...It's time to start filling out your applications and making accommodations for the 2006 Capital Case Defense Seminar in Monterey, California and the 6th Annual Public Defender Retreat in Las Vegas, Nevada.

I've been to the CCDS in Monterey several times and it is FANTASTIC (I am planning on attending this year). Lots of great speakers and its for Attorneys, Investigators, Paralegals, Law Students, or anyone with an interest in Capital Case Defense (you do have to sign a form stating that you're not from a law enforcement agency before receiving your MASSIVE syllabus. You should know that a lot of the material covered also is applicable to major felonies so just because you don't work Capital cases, don't let that stop you from coming. I've met experts, attorneys and investigators from all over the country here and developed some great contacts...I encourage y'all to do the same.

The Public Defender Retreat is also a great conference...or so I've heard from friends that have gone in the past. This will be my first year going and I'm really looking forward to it. Judging from the website it is not nearly as comprehensive as the Monterey conference but its mainly a place for Public Defenders to earn some MCLE credits and party. Since I'm not an attorney, I don't have to worry about the credits but I will be hanging with friends, listening to some more great speakers, playing poker in the 2006 World Defender Poker Championship, and generally just taking a breather from the daily grind.

Alright. That's it for the notices. Just so everyone knows, I'm not involved in either one of these conferences and I'm not benefiting financially from either one. Just wanted to throw that out there. Well...I might be benefiting from the massive prize money at the Blogger Championship but I'll talk about that after it's all over.

More later, I've been busy with cases and I've been itching to write about whats been happening in my world lately. More later.

Damn Blogger

Sometimes Blogger just drives me crazy. It's been acting strange all night and since I'm not on my laptop, I had to craft my post by logging on directly to the website (instead of doing the Blogger For Word option).

Yeah, great idea.

Now my good post about the Capital Case Defense Seminar in Monterey, California and the Public Defender Retreat in Las Vegas, Nevada...is no more. I'll be less frustrated after getting some sleep and doing it over again in the morning.

Hope everyone had a good weekend. I'll be back at work tomorrow morning after a nice 3 day weekend.

More later.

A Public Defender That Hates What They Do

I saved this for a bit because frankly, it was depressing but interesting at the same time. Some might say it was depresstesting? Okay, I'll stop making up words now.

Someone was directed to my site using the following phrase:

I hate being a public defender I hate my clients

Part of me is happy that I was not at the top of the search results but my only message to this person is...GET THE FUCK OUT BEFORE YOU RUIN SOMEONES LIFE MAYBE EVEN YOUR OWN!

It's a little extreme, and I guess maybe the fact that this person was using doing a search for this, meant they were looking for other people just like them, and maybe some help or support in what is a very difficult profession.

Shrimp-N-Death

All this death in the last few weeks had me looking at stories on the web. I came across this one about a man that died as a result of having a shrimp tossed at him. I'm sure his family is heartbroken but a very small part of me (the bad part) finds a small bit of humor in it. I know, I know. You don't even have to say it, I should be more sympathetic. Nobody said I was perfect. just read the story while the link is still good.

Bluetooth Headsets And The Death Of America

I went to interview a woman (the complaining witness) at her home this morning on an assault case. She lives in an upper-middle income area of town in a nice house with a two-car garage and a well manicured lawn.

I was wearing my county badge, sunglasses (thank G*d the rain is gone!), with business cards in my coat pocket, and my favorite plastic clipboard and a notepad under one arm. Basically, I looked like I was there on business.

As I walked up the long walkway to her home I saw that her front door was open and I could hear someone talking inside. I rang the doorbell, the talking stopped, and this very attractive Brunette haired woman appeared at the door. She was wearing a dress and had a datebook in her hand, she said come in, and walked back into the house.

I followed the Brunette into her living room where she pointed at a leather couch (I planted my ass down) and she disappeared into another room, coming back with a couple of glasses of lemonade.

You should all know that as I was following her into the house, and while she was getting us some drinks, she was talking to herself (nothing that made sense) and then saying, Mmmhmm. I figured she was just a hot chick with a screw loose. (Note: I did make a feeble attempt at small talk which she seemed to ignore right before she took off to get our drinks).

She sat down across from me and we had the following conversation (The conversation is as exact as I could remember it):

Brunette: Okay, why?

Me: Why am I Here? I'm Sancho (obviously I used my real name), I work with Attorney Red Head at the Public Defender's Office, we represent Mr. Phil Meicreviss in an active criminal case.

Brunette: Okay, well, I don't know...

Me: Here is my card (handing card to the lady)

At this point, She takes my card and looks at it for a very long time, gives me a reeeeally long look, directly into my eyes, like she is looking right through me. Making me feel a little nervous.

Brunette: Right, I know of him.

Me: Okay, well, it was my understanding that before his arrest, he had been living with you for 4 years, is that right?

Brunette: Mmmmhmmm.

This chick isn't even paying attention
to me and I'm sitting right in front of her!

Me: Did I catch you at a bad time? I can come back later if its okay with you.

Brunette: Yeah, well, I'm not sure If I'm going...I don't feel up to it...Okay?

Me: Okay, well, you aren't under any obligation to talk to me...

Brunette: Wendy? Can you hold on a sec? Yeah, someone from the DA's office just came into talk to me, call me after you get off work and we'll schedule it then. Okay, love you. Bye.

The Brunette lifts her right hand to her head, reaches under her lovely dark brown hair and digs out....a stupid Bluetooth headset.

Brunette: Hi, Sorry about that, what can I do for you?

She was on her fucking cell phone. I am such a jackass. A normal person would have figured it out but I just had a one minute conversation with myself.

I still think it was a bit rude to stay on the phone with Wendy after she let me in, but I guess it could be considered rude to just drop by someones house without notice...even if its for an investigation.

Dumb Bluetooth headsets...making me feel like a moron.

Defense Blogger On Court TV

For those who read Alaskablawg, this is old news. For those that don't, Court TV will be webcasting his next trial on their website. His post says its supposed to start on Tuesday (01/17/2006).

I think you have to be a registered member of their Extra service but if you sign up they give you 30 days free and if you decide to keep the subscription, they'll charge you a fe bucks after your free time runs out. Someone please correct this if it's wrong.

Back In action...A Changed Man

BEING BACK

I was sitting at the airport yesterday just thinking about the last few days. So much has happened in so little time. I had a bag full of cases that I never once cracked open in the last four days...not even on the plane or at the airport. I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

Then, I started to feel guilty. Mostly because I know my clients deserve to have an investigator that will do his job and do it right...regardless of shit going on in his personal life. They deserve someone to be at 100%. So, I gave myself another day to get my shit together and now here I sit.

Ready to fight the good fight. Again.

I can't promise that I won't have some "moments" in the next few months while the newness of losing my Grandfather wears off...but I am ready to work...I need to work. Also, and I'm not sure how to explain it...but I do feel different somehow. I think its "different" in a good way, I'm just not sure yet. When I figure it out, I'll try and explain it.

FLYING

I really hate flying. Have I ever talked about that? I hate it. Mostly I hate the turbulence that seemns to always hit the plane that I'm flying in, but mostly I hate the idea of crashing in a plane and there being nothing for my parents and loved ones to find except my wallet and a few teeth. Just freaks me out. To help me get past my fear of flying, I had a couple of martini's...dirty as hell. I have to say, it did the trick...Well, the Martini's and also the glass of red wine on the plane. Luckily I sat next to a very nice woman who decided it was a good idea to hold hands on take off and landing. Human touch can be an amazing thing when the mind and body are stressed. I'm not sure if it was the booze or her hand, but my flight back home was the easiest flight I have ever been on in the last 8 years.

ONE LAST THING

Here is a picture of the church where we held my grandfathers service. It was packed to the brim with friends and family and it was great. I hope that when its my turn to kick the bucket, I have half the people at my service.

I'm going to miss you viejito, wherever you are.

Thanks

Yup, I'm back.

Thanks to everyone for the kind words...it was much appreciated. I came back to work a little early, I just need to work to get my head back in order and keep my mind working on things other than my emotions.

Hope everyone is doing well, looking forward to catching up on my blog reading.

You Can't See A Ball Scratcher Over The Phone

It’s sooo close to Friday, I can almost taste it! You know what big plans I have for the weekend? Hmmm? Well, let me tell you…nuthin. Yeah, I know. It’s sad really. I’m thinking about a little golf but there is also part of me that wants to get fishing as soon as possible! We’ll see how tomorrow shapes up.

Let’s see…projects at work have been varied and as usual, I’m swamped with cases (not complaining), I’m putting together a players list for my newest murder case that has a never ending cast of characters, I’m trying to catch up on telephone interviews for the misdemeanor cases that I’ve been slammed with, and all the while trying to catch wit’s and vic’s at home for interviews on my felony cases.

It sucks doesn’t it? Telephone interviews are so perfect. You don’t have to leave the warm comfort of your office, you can do 3-4 interviews in the time that it would take an investigator to drive around town looking for and interviewing 1 witness in person. No dealing with parking (which can be a real bitch) spots, punk asses looking for trouble, and no having to sit on cat-piss stained couches trying not to look horrified that the person you’re about to sit down to an interview with, just finished scratching his balls (vigorously), shaking your hand, then offering you something to drink.

Yup. The thing is, it’s all those reasons that make it worth it to do as many interviews as possible in person. . People are more apt to talk to you in person than on the phone (it’s a lot easier to hang up the phone on someone than slamming a door in your face) and if the person is a mess, sometimes the negatives far outweigh the positives of using them in court…on the stand. You just get a much better feel for the witness.

So…it sucks. It sucks that I don’t have enough time in the day to do all of my interviews in person. I’m forced to try and do all interviews on Felony cases in person and only if time permits, can I conduct in-person interviews on the Misdemeanors. Is it shitty? Yes. Does it mean I think the Felony cliens are more Important than the Misdemeanor clients? Of course not. Is it unfair to clients? Yes.

What the fuck am I supposed to do? I’m only one investigator.

Life On The Other Side (The DA's Office)

I've often wondered what daily life is like at the District Attorney's office. Is it as hectic as life at the Public Defenders Office? Are they a bunch of straighlaced prudes over there? Do they ever take off their coats and ties just to relax?

I decided I'd never find out, so I created a web comic to try and portray what I imagine life is like...On The Other Side:

Have a go at making your own comic at http://www.wittycomics.com. Yes, I realize I have the sense of humor of a 3 year-old but it's the end of the day, and I'm giddy to get home! Enjoy! If this doesn't post very well, you can also click here to see the comic directly on the their site.

The Baring Of Buttocks

Woohoo! I just want to give a big shout out to the Montgomery County District Court's decision to acquit a defendant for the Baring of Buttocks in Maryland. (Note: The defendant could have been given up to three years in prison for this crime of alleged indecent exposure)

"...a Montgomery County Circuit Court judge ruled yesterday that mooning, while distasteful, is not illegal in Maryland."

My favorite quote from the story comes at the very end from the defendant's own attorney (no, I don't believe he is a Public Defender):

James Maxwell, one of McNealy's attorneys, said yesterday's ruling should "bring comfort to all beachgoers and plumbers" in the state.

I'm not going to jump to their defense, but why is it that plumbers are always the butt of jokes? Hmmm? Why do they always get handed the shitty end of the stick? Questions, for which we just may never have the answers to.

I know you're all out there...I can feel you clicking the Back button on your browser to get away from this lame blog as quickly as possible. For those still reading, no thanks are necessary for the corny and extremely lame attempts at jokes, it's all in a mornings work.

(Photo from: http://www.costumes-4-halloween.com/)

Muchos Casos, Ningún Dinero

There is an interesting story (by Dan Shaw) in the Journal and Courier, a newspaper out of Lafayette, Indiana on the financial difficulties facingTippecanoe County. Tippecanoe is looking at 5 upcoming murder trials with a limited budget. Don't worry, its a quick read.

(Note: Isn't it fun to say? Tiiiipeee-caaaa-newww. Tippe. Canoe. Yeah okay, I'm stopping now.)

One a related note, the article heavily quotes a Public Defender Investigator for the PD's offices, but nothing from any attorneys at the office or even THE Public Defender who would probably be the best person to discuss the finances of the office. Why is that I wonder?

I know a couple of counties in California that are stuck in a similar position although they are usually allocated funds to handle situations like those occurring in Tippecanoe. It also quotes a county council member (Jeff Kemper) complaining about the costs for witness fees:

"I think some of the things get thrown at us at the last minute," he said. He also complained of "exorbitant amounts for witness or expert fees."

I have to agree with one thing. Witness fees can certainly be a bitch. But can you really say before a trial how much you need to spend on it? I know there are budget people that handle that stuff but how close can you actually guesstimate?

Fuck It...Here Are My Resolutions

Since this is my first New Year writing a blog, I decided that yes, just like Melissa over at Peekaboo, I will also be posting my New Years resolutions. But first, I just want to point out that it’s about 12:55 in the morning on the 3rd of January and I cannot get any friggin sleep! It could be the wind knocking the damn branches against my bedroom window or it could be because I just drank a couple cups of coffee.

For the record, these are just 10 from a list of about 25 resolutions. I really feel like I need to start focusing (resolution #13) so I picked out the ones I felt were worthy of blogging...Drum roll please!

1. Read 51 Books (yeah, that’s right) – Melissa inspired this one. To kick things off, I started out easy and went to Borders where I picked up The English Assassin this afternoon and finished it about an hour ago. I love Daniel Silva’s books, although I haven’t read any of them in order…not that they need to be read in any particular order. Reading is something I love and I need to make myself understand that police reports and prelim transcripts DON'T COUNT!
   
2. I will join/start a volunteer organization – This is a little tougher. I was involved in a community service organization in my old hometown but haven’t really been involved in anything for the last year.
   
3. I will write daily in my Blog – I will also try to post more investigation related material...something I always say and never do.
   
4. I will cook at least 1 new meal a week – I know this doesn’t sound like much but one of my secret joys is cooking. I love to cook. In fact, if I don’t start including some recipes I’ve found that I’m going to cook in this blog, I’m going to have to start a new Blog…Recipes Of A Culinary Public Defender Investigator.
   
5. I will keep in better contact with friends and family – Yep, I’ve been neglecting old friends and family. I admit it and I like to blame it on work…I’m such a piece of crap.
   
6. I will work out at LEAST 4-5 times a week for an hour each session – I went from working out all the time to maybe once every two weeks this past year. I need to get back with the program.
   
7. I will buy a house – Okay, this one is not very realistic but I do want to own my own house someday.
   
8. I will have crazy, wild sex at least 6 times a week – Okay, I think there is a better chance of me buying two houses but what the hell, it gives me something to shoot for. I should really just be aiming for regular sex but I'm the kinda guy that likes to shoot for the stars...yeah, I'm a loser.
   
9. I will go fishing once a week – This is really about the fact that I need to start doing things for myself a little more often. I’ve met too many people in this job that burned themselves out because they didn’t stop to smell the roses…I need to at least start with acknowledging the roses are even there.
   
10. I will have my love life in some reasonable order – I guess there is a better chance of me buying two houses and having crazy, wild sex 6 times a week…but again…something to hope for.

Holiday Schmoliday!

Good Lordy…It has been a flipping wet week. I think there was a little bit of sun yesterday for about an hour then we were plunged back under the dark storm clouds. The rain has been making me stir crazy...NOT so stir crazy that I spent all day working on a great post to wow everyone but enough that I wished I didn’t have today off of work.

The good/bad thing about being a county employee is that we get regular paid holidays and for some reason since January 1st fell on a Sunday, we get to celebrate it on a Monday…don’t ask me why.

I say it’s bad because if I was not a county employed schmuck and just a regular joe taxpayer, I would want my civil servants and county employees to be earning their dough and working as much as possible. I also say it’s good because most of the time, all regular joe taxpayer sees is county offices closed on holidays. They don’t know that people in the Public Defenders Office (and I’m sure many others) will commonly work 10 or more hours a day and take work home most every day of the week. Most of us don’t get paid for the overtime…I guess it’s just expected of us.

The point is, I guess I should feel guilty spending the whole day fucking around and getting paid for it, but I don’t. I’ve got a whole New Year to feel guilty about shit and I’m not going to start with being guilty about a pai county holiday.

So to my friends that are not county employees (even though you’ll never know I said it), STOP GIVING ME CRAP!!! I CAN”T HELP THAT I GET A FRIGGIN PAID DAY OFF!!!

Nuff said.

¡Feliz Año Nuevo Mis Amigos!

(Apologies in advance for my usual lack of focus)

Well, it's a new year, 2006 (in case you weren't sure).

Fucking unbelievable. Have I been asleep the last 20 years? The time has just flown by so fast. I feel so old and quite honestly, it depresses me.

I remember when my kid brother was born in 1984, holding him in my arms and feeding him, holding him after he'd taken a nasty digger into the rocky asphalt in the parking area in front of our house, I remember kicking his ass at video games and engaging in stupid contests of who could stand on the concrete fence the longest (sometimes I wouldn't be able to take it and I'd push him off just to get it over with).

I remember it all like it was just yesterday. I can still remember the Spider-Man and Hulk t-shirts that my brother would always wear and how if he would always tuck them into his jeans (he never liked shorts). I can still smell the scrub brush that surrounded my parents house where we would play hide and seek (actually my brother did all the seeking....I'm a horrible older brother).

I just can't believe that its been over 20 years.

The memories of my brother just have me thinking...Is this how It's going to be in another 20 years? Will the memories with my brother fade? Will I look back on today and think, You know, it seems like just yesterday that I was sitting at the kitchen table working on my blog? Will I be able to say I made a difference to anyone? Will I be good to my family? Will I ever even have a family of my own?

I wish I could see into the future because right now, I'm only good at doing one thing...looking into my past and trying to figure out what direction I'm actually going in.

I was at the scene of a residential burglary last week working on one of my 500 cases. I was taking establishment and interior photos of the house and as I was walking through the kitchen, I took this photograph of Mollie, the homeowner. She was a very sweet woman. A lonely woman. There was something about her sitting there alone with the news on television everyday and watching the world go by outside her window that made me really think stop...

I ended up talking to Mollie for about an hour and a half about her kids and life. It looks like I have to go back to her house for cookies next week...I'll take one for the team, don't worry.