The Insider On The DA Fiasco In San Diego

Well, thanks to a post by someone calling themselves, The Insider, we now have a little more background on the Riverside District Attorney that was arrested in San Diego last week. If you don't know what I'm talking about, Please Read This First, then come back and read what The Insider has to say about it:

THANK YOU ANONYMOUS!
Time to hear the truth about this incident--Sancho will appreciate this. The police, specifically San Diego Police Officer Koerber, the arresting officer, was observed by Anwar pushing DeLimon as he tried to exit the bar. As DeLimon tried to explain he was not involved in the fight, ask the officer why he was being pushed, and identify himself as a D.A., Koerber began handcuffing him. At this point, Anwar also identified herself and merely showed her badge to verify her status (to let officers know they were not involved and not a threat), and tried to explain that Daniel was not involved. She told the officer she saw him push Daniel for no reason. Koerber told her to shut up or she would be arrested for 148 (or resisting, delaying, obstructing a peace officer). When she asked, "For what? If you're going to arrest me for this, then go ahead and arrest me", Koerber threw her purse down and forcefully handcuffed her. Anwar later told his Sgt. (Kraemer) that she intended on looking into his record regarding excessive force. THIS IS THE TRUTH!!! This is why she was ultimately arrested...because Koerber needed to go on the offensive to protect himself for using unnecessary force and unlawfully detaining someone. He was caught. And really, what does "I will badge you" mean??

The true kicker to this story is... an officer can twist, manipulate, and blur a person's statements to make it appear that the person was abusing the power of their office to obtain favorable treatment when in reality it was he who abused his position.

Of course I don't have any way of verifying this information but I have to believe that The Insider was in fact present when the above incident took place. You can jump to the conlcusion that he/she maybe either DeLimon or Anwar, or at the very least they were one of the friends accompanying them.

I'm curious to see where/if this goes anywhere.

A Message To All Public Defenders Non-Attorney's

Every couple of days I check my Sitemeter, just to see how people find their way to my site. Usually it's by looking up pornographic phrases or looking for nude pictures of ex-PD investigators, but sometimes I find stuff like this:

Do the citizen's of our country really think that Public Defenders do not have to pass the bar exam in their state? Maybe people just think they are in a category by themselves? Not average citizens and not attorneys...but somewhere in the middle?

I've heard a few clients say derogatory crap against their PD's but I always thought it was because they were just busting their balls. I never thought they actually believed it.

I guess I'm just naive.

Clarifying My Thoughts On The Brown Devil

***Warning - Not Investigation Related - But Lately What Is?***

I was in a pissy mood a couple of nights ago, mostly because I just couldn't get to sleep and I had the headache from hell. It may have been because of the wine but I'm not so sure.

When some people think of illegal immigrants, all they can focus on is the word illegal. They imagine Mexicans, and make no mistake about it, they imagine Mexicans storming the U.S. border to come and take the jobs of good, hardworking, and documented Americans.

They imagine an infestation of the Brown Menace, coming to bring down the property value of their homes, flooding welfare offices with fraudulent applications, crowding our hospital emergency rooms, joining street gangs at an unprecedented rate, and basically raping, pillaging and destroying everything that good, conservative America stands for.

Of course I can't speak for everyone. I can speak only for what I know, and what my past experiences are. I know plenty of Mexican families...a majority of them are here in US legally and a few of them are here illegally. ALL of these people come here because they want to work and provide for their families (many still living in Mexico). Many cannot wait for the year(s) it takes to recieve a work visa. Their need is NOW.

I don't know anyone that has decided they were going risk their lives to cross the US-Mexico border, risk being robbed, risk being arrested, risk being ridiculed, and living everyday with the fear of, Today could be the day that I'm sent home and how will I support my family then? All for coming to the US to, "Suck the system dry."

I'm not for open borders anywhere, and I think a 2000 mile fence separating Mexico and the US is the dumbest idea on the planet. I'm for Immigration Reform and restructuring of the guest worker program. 11 million undocumented people are not going to be rounded up tomorrow and charging them each with a Felony is another boneheaded idea that makes absolutely no sense.

There are some people in America who merge undocumented workers with terrorists and use images like this to scare the shit out of people:

You have average joe blow American read this and they freak out! There are also websites that are wolves in sheeps clothing. They pretend to be patriotic, We're only worried about the future of America!, and the reality is they use their not so subtle racist jabs to perpetuate stereotypes of immigrants, and focus on key scare words to frighten people into thinking Mexican immigrants are only coming to destroy America. Do I blame American's after seeing crap like this? I guess not.

The truth is, I could probably spend all day talking about this, but now that our Senate is back in session today, I'll spare you because I'm sure you'll be hearing more about immigration related issues than you'd really care to hear.

All I ask is that people keep an open mind about everything they're going to hear in the next few weeks and months. If you have your mind made up on immigration now, that's terrific. If you're still on the fence, and see good points being made by people on both sides of the argument, thats even better!

Keep an open mind, ask questions to your local and state representatives, and don't be afraid to talk to people about what their thoughts on immigration are and how it affects their lives. You might be surprised by what you'll hear.

The Tricky Brown Devil!

It makes me sooo happy to know that we Americans are finally beginning to understand the danger that is...the illegal Mexican immigrant!

Read the story in the Houston Chronicle about the Pallet Co. based in Houston that was raided by ICE and Houston law enforcement:

...Immigration officials also raided 40 IFCO plants in 26 states Wednesday
and apprehended 1,187 illegal employees, according to the United States
Department of Homeland Security.

I usually try to stay away from writing about stuff like this but it hits close to home and I feel pretty strongly about it. Soooo, at the risk of turning people off to my site forever, I say the following:

It's gratifying to know that with Iran recently becoming part of the nuclear country club; the war in Iraq constantly dragging our country down financially, physically, emotionally, in a neverending spiral downward; Dirty politicians from BOTH sides of the fence just forcing us to lose faith in them; Half the country forgetting that we have armed forces STILL in Afghanistan and most thinking we're in Iraq because of what happened on 9/11...it's good to know we can bring some focus back to our own borders and worry about...The Brown Devil terrorizing our own country.

It's not like The Brown Devil has killed as many people as guns have in the United States...29,573 in 2001 alone....yeah, can't find 2005); killed as many citizens as drunk drivers did in 2004....16,972; killed as many citizens by drowning, 3,842 in 2002. Hell, even Falls have killed more people than than the illegal immigrant has (13,322 in 2002, just if you're really interested)...ummm yeah, that includes falling off your roof and falling off your living room chair.

I'm ready for the hate mail and the inevitable, It's not that we don't want them in our country, they just need to come here legally, the way my parents did and their parents did before them. Does anyone know how long it can take for someone applying for a temporary work visa here in the states? For some it can take years and quite honestly with the situation in many communties of Mexico and Latin America the way they are...the people can't afford to wait.

I don't know. Its complicated and I'm just tired. I thought I was going to be able to finish this but the more I type, the more I realize there are things I want to say.

More later...

Not The Breast Picture In The World

Yup, more from the Boobie Doctor in Florida, courtesy of The Smoking Gun. You can read the police reports here.

Hindsight Isn't 20/20...It's A Bitch

If my office had more money for training, I would be attending the upcoming National Defender Investigator Association (NDIA) Conference being held in San Francisco from April 26, 2006 thru April 28, 2006.

I would attend this year but I already paid a good chunk of change to attend the Capital Case Defense Seminar in Monterey this year and it wiped out my own personal training funds. If I had planned it a little better, I would have set aside at least $2,000.00 for training this year. Hindsight isn't 20/20...it's a bitch.

I'm just bummed that I'll miss what is probably going to be the BEST defense investigator conference of the year. Since I'm whining about it, let me tell you what I was most interested in attending (You can see the ENTIRE AGENDA HERE):

Crap, it looks a little small, I'm not sure if you're going to be able to see it better if you click on it, but you should check out the agenda anyway, the NDIA really put together a good conference, I hope they have a good turnout.

Important Note: Private Investigator, David Fechheimer was originally slated to be speaking on International Investigation: How Do We Investigate In The Global Village and now it looks like he is off the program. I'm not sure what happened but I was really looking forward to hearing him speak or at least hearing from other investigators that attended the conference.

Just like Fechheimer, my fascination for the The Maltese Falcon started me down a path that I have stayed on since childhood, so it was great to see that Dashiell Hammett's writing did the same for Fechheimer. Fechheimer was someone I read about through another investigator, Josiah "Tink" Thompson, whose book, Gumshoe: Reflections in a Private Eye, became one of my inspirations to live my life as a defense investigator.

I'd like to put myself in the same category as these two investigators, even though they're super educated intellectuals from fancy schmancy schools, and I'm just a regular Jose Blow. I like to think that the blood running through our veins is what ties us together in a brotherhood...A brotherhood of defense investigators who fight the good fight regardless of how unpopular it is.

Yeah, it didn't sound as cheesy in my head when I was thinking it, but now that I'm looking at it, I wish I didn't type that last paragraph.

More later...

Firm And Supple

This guy totally stole my idea!!!
Ummm...err....I mean, look everyone, look what this pervert is accused if doing!

Can you even imagine? Who in their right minds would let this guy (or any joe schmo that comes knocking on your front door) examine your breasts and genital area? I would at the very least have asked the dude to wear gloves during the exam.

Even perverts need to practice safe and hygienic medical examinations.

(Story by REUTERS/Photo From Broward County Sheriff/Handout)

In Case You Haven't Read It Already...

For those of you not familiar with him, I would like to introduce you to Mr. David Feige, fellow member of the Public Defender familia, blogger at Indefensible, future famous author of the book, Indefensible (According to his website, publishing June 3, 2006), and now famous Television Pundit:

All of a sudden the phone is ringing almost daily. And though I've done a bunch of TV over the years, when I was in the Bronx I kept it kind of to a minimum. But tonight, I'm doing Catherine Crier's show, tomorrow Rita Cosby on MSNBC and then Jami Floyd's show "The Best Defense" on Friday.

Mr. Feige, I have a warning and a request for you...1) Please tread carefully around those freaks at Fox News Channel and 2) Find out how tall Catherine Crier is. I realize she is an incredibly intelligent woman with an amazing background (We can forgive her for working at Fox) but good lord, for an older woman...she is muy caliente!

***Note: I meant to post this last night, and now I realize that I'm too late to get my info on Crier...damn.****

More later...

It's Stuff Like This That Makes Me Love Life

The officer told Anwar to back away, but she kept yelling and moving closer, saying, "You can't do this. He's a deputy district attorney," Cohen said, reading from the police report. She then said, "If you arrest him, you have to arrest me and I will badge you..."

- Parwana Anwar, Riverside County Deputy DA

I doubt that this storyline will EVER make it to Conviction (yeah, the crappy TV show) sooo, let me re-post this story for everyones entertainment. I would give you the direct link to the story but the link has been changed and I don't have time to track a new one down:

Prosecutor Arrested at San Diego Club DISTURBANCE: Another Riverside County attorney was at the April 8 incident. Both are on leave

10:00 PM PDT on Monday, April 17, 2006

By LISA O'NEILL HILL/The Press-Enterprise

A Riverside County prosecutor who works out of the Southwest Division was arrested earlier this month on suspicion of disorderly conduct while intoxicated after a disturbance at a San Diego nightclub, police said Monday.

Parwana Anwar, 33, was with another Riverside County prosecutor, Daniel DeLimon, and others when she was arrested April 8 at The Red Circle nightclub in downtown San Diego. She was booked into the women's jail but it remained unclear Monday whether she is being prosecuted.

The San Diego district attorney's office said it had no record of Anwar being charged but said the city attorney's office handles misdemeanor charges. A spokeswoman for the city attorney's office could not be reached to comment Monday afternoon.

Anwar and DeLimon are on administrative leave, said Ingrid Wyatt, spokeswoman for the Riverside County district attorney's office. She declined further comment, citing the personnel investigation. Neither prosecutor could be reached to comment.

San Diego Police Department spokesman Dave Cohen said police were called to the club about 2:20 a.m. after a patron entered the bar after closing. That man then headbutted the owner, who placed him under a citizen's arrest, Cohen said. An officer who was sent to the bar saw a bouncer struggling with the man in patio, Cohen said.

The officer watched as bouncers tried to bring the man out the front door until the man's cousin stepped in front of the officer, blocking his view, Cohen said.The cousin, identified as DeLimon, refused to move, even after the officer told him to several times, Cohen said. The officer then grabbed DeLimon by the right arm and pushed him out of the way, Cohen said.Other officers at the club were handcuffing DeLimon when Anwar stepped closer and began yelling that the officer had no right to push her friend, Cohen said.

The officer told Anwar to back away, but she kept yelling and moving closer, saying, "You can't do this. He's a deputy district attorney," Cohen said, reading from the police report. She then said, "If you arrest him, you have to arrest me and I will badge you," according to the police report.The officer told Anwar that he did not want to arrest her and told her again to back away. Anwar then uttered a profanity, said she was a prosecutor and told the officer to arrest her. She also shoved a leather wallet with a badge near his face, Cohen said. The officer then grabbed Anwar from her left wrist and put her hand behind her back to handcuff her, Cohen said. Anwar tried to pull away but was placed in handcuffs, he said.

The officer told her to walk with him and she refused and tried to pull away, Cohen said. Two officers then walked her to a patrol car. Cohen said he could not find any record of DeLimon being arrested and said it appeared he was detained, then released.

Let's Get To It!

Alright. I've got a lot to cover in this post so let me just get the crap I amused myself with last night outta the way.

A few days ago I put The Hot Librarian back on my list of blogs I regularly read. Not because I had kicked her off the list, but 3X in the last few months I had been screwing around with the template to this site and jacked it all up. I had to manually type in the blogs I read, and for some reason, I kept leaving out THL. While I was catching up on some posts I had missed, I read this one, which gave me the idea to create and post these babies:

Please feel free to try them out for yourself here at Chuck Says...

I ended up spending more time than I care to admit creating these stupid things and sending them to friends I hadn't seen in a while. I'm sure they think I've lost it, but what do I care? I've got Chuck Norris and Arnie in the palm of my hand baby!

Are you done creating now? Good. Do you see what I'm talking about? It's quite addicting...or maybe it's just me.

The other thing I wanted to do was respond to a comment made by Anonymous (I really do wish that people would at least make up a name sometimes so I can differentiate from the different anonymous commenters...especially when they pose questions) on Dear Private Citizen And Future Client:.

Anonymous said:

Good to know if someone has done the crime, they should do whatever it takes to escape the consequences. God forbid they admit to what they've done, or get caught on tape talking to OTHER CRIMINALS telling them to dump stolen property or drugs...

When a client asks to speak to an attorney, and the questioning continues without regard to his constitutional right...it bothers me AND it fires me up more than you would ever imagine! Remember that its up to the Judge/Jury to decide who is guilty of a crime NOT the police officer/detective.

It's amazing to me how a Public Defender Investigator is the first to slam their hand on a desk and demand evidence that will clear their client (even if the evidence is discovered by the evil police), yet will convince a criminal to conceal and/or lie about their crimes.

I'm not gonna lie, I have slammed my hand on a few desks in my day but I find it a little dramatic for everyday use. Also, I hate to be nitpicky but remember they are not criminals until they are convicted. They are Defendants or I like to refer to them as People or Clients.

Most importantly you should know that I WOULD NEVER tell a CLIENT to CONCEAL AND/OR LIE about anything related to their case...most of the time we leave that to the Prosecutor or investigating officer...I kid! I know a good many PDI'S in California and elsewhere, and I can tell you that they are all good, honest people that would never jeopardize their reputation, career, freedom, or a Client's case by lying.

I'm sure there are bad apples. Thankfully I'm not one of them.

Is there any crime that you would hope a client would be caught dead to rights for? If a guy molested a child or raped a woman, would you be more comfortable knowing they kept their mouth shut in an interview and might go free (and I'm saying you *KNOW* without a doubt they are responsible), or would you as a human being be more comfortable if the police were able to develop a rock solid case against them?

Let me be clear here. I am not for an unlawful society and I'm not someone you would consider as Pro-Crime. For gawds sake man, who in their right mind is?!?! If someone has committed a crime, that person should be punished. It's very simple. The thing is, I want people punished appropriately and justly and I don't want law enforcement officers breaking the law...to enforce it. If someone commits a crime, and they are "without a doubt" responsible for it. There is more than a good chance they will be convicted. Why would law enforcement officals need to resort to questionable/illegal tactics in a case like that?

I guess my issue here comes from wanting to see someone who has done what they're accused of, walk free or get out of trouble. I understand it is "innocent until proven guilty", however we've *ALL* seen cases where there is *NO DOUBT* the person is guilty.Say the (Roseville?) incident where the woman was stabbed to death by a stranger while pumping gas into her car... Caught on tape, suspect never left the scene, and was found with blood and the victims purse on him. Is there anyone, (even a PD Invesigator) that doesn't think this guy should go to prison for the rest of his life?

I'm familiar with the case you refer to and yes, If he commited the crime he should be punished. If the judge/jury decide life in prison is where he belongs, then thats where he will go. If they believe he needs to be sent to a psych facility for the rest of his living days then thats where he'll be sent.

-----------------------

When I posted the imaginary letter, I was pretty pissed. We had a client that felt he was getting screwed because he had a crappy attorney and he told her that. She is a Felony attorney that has been practicing law for over 7 years with a good reputation and a thick skin...except for one day last week. The client felt she wasn't doing everything she could to get him out of jail. Without going into any details of the case, he forgot Items 1 thru 5 of my list and her feelings were hurt when he called her about the worst thing you can call a woman (see the letter).

Due to time constraints, I can't really respond to everyones comments but you should know I do appreciate them, regardless of where you stand.

More later...

More No Speeky Da Engleesh

Thanks to one of the very fine three readers of my simple blog, I now have a bit more information on our good buddy, Ramiro Games who was arrested in Maryland (Prince George's County) for cocaine possession and spent 6 months in jail...because he didn't understand English and apparently nobody in the county spoke Spanish. Yeah, I know.

Here is a pic of Mr. Games:

And here is a bit of a snippet from the April 10, 2006 online edition of the Washington Post:

Circuit Court Judge Vincent J. Femia had Games plead guilty to the cocaine possession charge to get him out of jail, even though Games speaks no English, had no attorney or interpreter and did not understand what he was pleading guilty to.

"He didn't have any idea what he was doing, and I didn't give a damn," Femia said in an interview. "Our system is a Gordian knot, and I cut it. My object in this case was not criminal justice. My object was to get him the hell out of jail."

Anyone else completely mortified?

For the record, anyone wanting to find out what a Gordian Knot is...click here.

(Photo by Robert A. Reeder - The Washington Post)

No Speeky Da Engleesh

Okay, that was a horribly inconsiderate and rude way of spelling my title but I think its important to note that I meant to be horribly inconsiderate and rude.

I just read this article in Gazette.Net (a Maryland based online newspaper) on a Spanish speaking Guatemalan immigrant that was arrested for possession of cocaine and, "...was kept in jail for six months on a misdemeanor charge, due, in part, to the language barrier."

Is anyone else horrified by this? How the hell do things like this happen?! Now, I'm not really familiar with Maryland although I AM making crab cakes tonight! Anyone with me?! Hellooooo? They're delicious! Anyone?

Okay then.

I really am making crab cakes (using a traditional crab cakes recipe but I'm using the Chipotle recipe for the remoulade) tonight and I did work a criminal case 4 years ago in Baltimore, Maryland. I just can't tell you what county the Public Defender's office is that is mentioned in the not so well written article.

More later....I'm irritated and I need to figure out where I can buy 1lb of FRESH Lump Crab Meat after I get off work today.

Dear Private Citizen and Future Client:

Dear Private Citizen and Future Client:

When a law enforcement official has you inside of an interrogation room, and you assert your right to an attorney, and Mr./Mrs. Joe Schmo Detective is telling you that the only way out of your (insert really fucked up legal dilemma) is to just talk openly with them...remember to keep in mind the following:

1. Please don't try to outsmart them. If you were sharp enough to outsmart them, you wouldn't be in the interrogation room. I'm not saying they are a bunch of Sherlock Holmes' but let's keep it real, Mmmmkay?

2. There is a 95% chance that before your ass was even brought into the room, someone, somewhere in the building, pressed the record button on a video camera which is now capturing your image in all of it's marvelous glory. Sometimes they don't hide the camera and sometimes it's hidden inside an air conditioning vent. Just be aware of it.

3. When the detective(s) get you all worked up (emotionally) then leave you to think about things, please don't break down, crying like a little bitch, admitting to everything under the sun. (Example: Oh Gawd, Gawd...why did I break into that house? Why!? Why did I then steal that truck and plow into the side of that donut shop, why?!) Remember how that video camera WITH super audio is still running?

4. When the detective(s) let's you keep your cellular phone with you in the interrogation room to think about things, AFTER they search you for weapons...it wasn't an accident. Don't use the phone to call your future co-defendant and tell them to hide the (drugs, gun, body) because the cops are coming to the house. Agan... the video camera...remember?

5. If you have failed to keep Items 1 thru 4 in mind, at least remember #5. This is quite possibly the most important one so please read this carefully: Please, oh Please don't call your Public Defender a Public Pretender/Dumptruck/Bitch/Cunt/Asshole and blame him/her for not being able to get you a better deal.

They have to work with what you give them and if you give em shit...well, you get the idea.

Got it? Good.

A Nekkid PD Investigator

Okay, the Public Defender Investigator I'm referring to is Mrs. Alison Cushman who is actually an ex-Public Defender Investigator. Cushman worked as one of us in Florida, home of another famous PD Investigator turned runway model.

Who is Alison Cushman you ask? Let me give you a quick rundown (and picture):

According to the Palm Beach Post, Cushman is a Florida Department of Children and Families Child Abuse Investigator, that stripped completely naked on the Howard Stern Radio show early last year, then last week, got naked again on Stern's new program on Sirius satellite radio.

From the Palm Beach Post story:

As a child abuse investigator, Cushman has been responsible for looking into allegations that children were harmed and helping to decide whether they should be taken into state foster care...

...Although Cushman was on vacation at the time of her appearance, state employees are warned that they can get in trouble for conduct both on and off the job, DCF spokeswoman Marilyn Muñoz said.

Cushman, 31, was hired by the DCF in 2003 after working as a probation officer, an investigator for the public defender and a social worker helping mentally ill people.

The big news is that she is apparently getting canned from the DCF and I gotta tell ya, I feel kinda bad for her. Sure, I think getting naked was not the wisest move BUT I don't think it was so horrible that she should get the boot in the ass for doing something like this on her vacation.

I think the Florida Department of Children and Families has a few more important things (Like This and This and This...just to name a few) to worry about than some hot investigator showing her goods to Howard Stern and talking about it on the radio.

(Photo from Sirius Fan Network)

I'm A Lover, Not A Fighter

There was a discussion on a post I did a few weeks ago, about Public Defender Investigator's carrying weapons while on the job. Everyone was really thoughtful in their comments and everyone brought up some good points.

My decision has been made, although I think I already knew what my decision was, long before I ever brought up the possibility of carrying a weapon on the job...

First, watch this famous video of a Drug Enforcement Agency, Special Agent demonstrating gun safety to a classroom full of children and their parents. It's a good reminder of why guns in even the most well trained hands, can be dangerous to their owner. As an interesting sidenote, the DEA agent you see in the video, Mr. Lee Paige, is suing the United States for damages related to the showing of the above video. You can read all about it on, The Smoking Gun (Also the source of the video link).

Crazy shit huh? Yeah, I've never been a big fan of guns and it's probably why I've decided to stay unarmed. Well, I mean I carry a sharp pen, a sharp mouth and a sharp mind. I'm also considering carrying some pepper spray for the crazy friggin dogs that roam some of our city streets. Well, not really carrying it, but at least keepin it in my county car for those occasions that dogs are waiting for me when I open my car door (it's happened a few times).

I know what some of you are thinking: A sharp mind won't stop a bullet, A sharp mind won't keep someone from attacking you, A man who brings just his pen to a gunfight is a foolish man, Why don't you just be prepared for the possibility that you can be put in a position where you need to be on the offensive.

I don't really disagree with you, but I've made my choice based on the following:

I believe that a gun would provide a false sense of security for me in the field - Defense investigator's for the most part, don't have the luxury of traveling in pairs. Sure it's a huge safety issue but we just don't have the manpower for it. I also don't like looking like approaching a Res looking like a pair of goons or muscle...whatever you want to call it. When I visit homes on cases, I am very aware of my surroundings. I don't go in scared but I depend on my own instinct to tell me if something doesn't feel right. If it doesn't, I leave.

I don't want to carry a gun and use it like a crutch, or a partner. I don't want to think, If things get hairy, I've got my trusty Glock to pave the way to safety. Of course I wouldn't waive it around every house I'd go to but if you carry a gun, you need it to have immediate access to it. That would mean carrying it in a place where someone would see it. We have a hard enough time with people thinking we're someone from the DA's office. I don't need everyone thinking I'm a cop and automatically putting them on the defensive.

I think an unarmed, solo, PD Investigator who radiates a little vulnerability (to a certain extent) helps people feel comfortable with them and in turn it lets them open up to them. They see that you are there only to listen to them and you do not post a threat. People like to see that you are armed with your pen, notepad and nothing else, no ulterior motives.

I don't want to think about gun safety while on the job - Carrying a gun on the job would be a distraction for me. I have enough to think about in the field, I don't want to worry about everybody's safety while listening to a witness, and trying to formulate my next question. Ugh, it stresses me out just thinking about it.

The aftermath - I don't want to deal with the aftermath of a shooting, both the physical and psychological side of it. I would never want to think, If I had only waited before pulling the trigger, would there have been another way out of whatever situation I had found myself in? I don't want to think, Maybe I pulled my gun out too soon? Did pulling my gun out, cause the situation to escalate?

-----------------------------------

Some of you are thinking, This guy is asking for trouble, if he doesn't want to protect himself, he is asking for trouble. To you, let me say this. The day I start carrying a gun, is the day that I can't do this job anymore. I think it would be a sign that I've lost my faith in humanity and the people we serve every day, I'll never let that happen.

Swallowing The Ugly Truth

While driving back to the office from an investigation in Northern California last week, I managed to snap this photograph (please don't give me shit for driving and taking pictures, it took two different passes to do it and I don't do it often):

I guess, I just have to wonder Why would AT&T spend money on a billboard like this? I guess thats why I'm just a simple PD Investigator and not a highly paid advertising executive, I just don't see the big picture with stuff like this. Oh well, in a way it's kinda cool but I just have to bitch about something! Which brings me too...

----------------------------------------

A reader of my blog. Actually he (or possibly she) didn't really spend much time on my blog but they did an interesting search that brought them to me. I did a screenshot which I cropped so everyone could see it:

I really feel for this guy/girl. I wish I could find out just a few more details from you like, Does she answer her cellphone after she has gone out drinking? Does she ever drunk dial you at night when she gets home? Does she ever mention who she is going out with?

If for some reason you bookmarked my page and you come back and read this, let me just give you a little insight into what's happening. If your long distance girlfriend, is always out drinking it could only mean one of two things: 1) It might be that she has a drinking problem or 2) She has a drinking problem and she is banging every guy that she meet's in a bar on her night's out.

I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you but it's true.

This is why I avoid long distance relationships people! It's impossible to sustain long distance relationships. I mean sure, it's all fine and dandy when you are both together...laughing, going out to dinner together, looking dreamily into each other's eyes, planning your future together, and having wild, crazy sex for hours on end. But the minute she is out of your life you thoughts go to, Why doesn't she ever answer her phone after 8:00pm? Why doesn't she want me to visit on weekends? Why did she tell me to never surprise her with a visit?

Yup, once in a while life really sucks the big one, and it's sometimes a real eye-opener to be forced to swallow the ugly truth.

Gay Vibes

Before I start yapping about Gay Vibes, let me just say that there is a new Blogging Public Defender on the block that you should check out...Just Peachy.

Peachy has me on her list of links which isn't usually enough to make me put someone on my list, but she writes well and I'm absolutely certain that she has an accent.

Me likey the accents.

Hopefully she continues the good stuff she has on her blawg and I'm looking forward to reading more from her.

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A few weeks ago (just before I became deathly ill), I went out with my old roommates from college. Good times as always. We actually got together for a mutual acquaintance's 50th birthday celebration and seeing how it was a 50th birthday party and everyone at the party was at least 20 years older than us, it fizzled out at about 10:00pm (2 hours past most of the partygoers bedtimes) with most people going to bed or passing out somewhere in the gigantic house.

We younger folks decided to go out for a night on the town in rural America! We only had to wait 45 minutes for a cab (it's the only one in this small town) and it took us to the only bar within a 30 minute ride...a country bar.

Now, I'm not really a huge fan of Country muzak. I'm more of a Rock-N-Roll kinda guy. I AM however a huge fan of ladies in really tight jeans, skirts (or a combination of the two that I saw this night), and pink cowgirl hats....and let me tell you. There were a LOT of them!

Anyhoot, my group of six people (My two roommates and I wear not wearing any western attire) found a table, ordered some drinks, and the good times began. We played pool, we danced to some shit kicking muzak, we spilled drinks, drank some more and, well, you get the idea.

Good times.

On one of my many trips to the bar I was talking to this woman who I had met earlier (she and her friends were at a table next to us) and someone taps me on the shoulder. I turn around and it's this guy wearing a white (silk) Guayabera, silver rings, silver chains, silver earrings, and a turquoise Kangol hat, all I could think of was, Wow, this guy fits in even less than I do in this place!

I forget what Mr. Kangol originally said to me but we ended up talking for about 15 minutes before I realized I had drinks in my hand that I wanted to take back to my table. I asked him, if he wanted to join us at our table (only because it was super crowded and he had just come in...he declined) then we said our see you around's and we parted ways. What a nice guy.

I sat down with the girlfriend of one of my ex-roommates (Mr. A), and we talked for about 20 minutes before I went to get her another Cosmo at the bar. While I was waiting at the bar for my drinks, who appears next to me? Mr. Kangol!

The conversation when something like this:

Mr. Kangol: I want to tell you something but I don't want you to get mad.

Me (pleasantly buzzed): (after checking my zipper to make sure I hadn't been walking around with my fly down) What do you mean!? Mad? Naw, it takes a lot to upset me. I mean, if you steal something from me, I might get mad but...

Mr. Kangol: Do you have a girlfriend?

Me: (thinking - Oh crap, he wants to set me up with that girl I think I saw him with earlier...must be his sister) Umm, not really. Not a full-time girlfriend, no.

Mr. Kangol: How about a boyfriend?

Me: No, but if my record with the ladies continues the way it has been...

Mr. Kangol: Oh that's good! I'll be honest with you. I think you're cute, are you bi?

Me: (thinking - Where in the hell is his sister?) I'm straight. Sorry.

Mr. Kangol: That's too bad, I just thought...hey, I was really curious about that cowboy at your table...is he gay?

Me: No, he's married to my ex-roommate (Mrs. V).

Mr. Kangol: Such as waste.

Me: Yeah, he's not a bad looking dude.

Wait Just a minute...what happened to me? Were you just befriending me so you could get to the cowboy at my table? What, I'M not good enough for you? I feel dirty...just a little bit used.

My bruised ego and I bought Mr. Kangol a beer and I went back to my table and ten minutes later I was on the dance floor dancing like an idiot and having a good time. Mr. Kangol came by said, Thanks for the beer and took off. We all took a cab ride home back to the house in the morning and a good time was had by all.

I wasn't going to post any of this until I received a telephone call today from Mr. A. Even through his hysterical laughing, I was able to discern that his girlfriend wanted to set me up with someone...a friend of theirs named MATTHEW!

She thought I WAS GAY TOO!

I guess that without posting a picture of myself, I can't honestly ask what it is about me that would make at least two people (for all I know, there are more) in the last couple of weeks think I'm gay.

I have very few openly gay friends. I consider a couple I have known for the past 3 years as probably my best friends. Neither of them have EVER tried setting me up with any of their gay friends. So, what kind of gay vibe am I giving off that makes complete strangers think I'm gay. I mean, I don't really fit any gay stereotypes and I'm not some sort of raging homophobe...it just puzzles me.

I think this important. I may have just discovered the key to my relationship problems. It's hard to interest a woman who thinks you're more interested in what kind of shoes she's wearing than her.

Damn my gay vibes, damn them.

A Quickie

I'm really sorry I missed this video on St. Patty's Day:



In other news, there was a report of a bad batch of approximately 2000 gallons of Guiness Beer that was sent to Mobile, Alabama. Reports indicate drinking it would make you fucking crazy.

Behind Bars...For Being Too Cute.

Thanks to everyone for the sick support. I printed everyone's get well comments and slept with them in bed last night to comfort me.

Okay, as usual my attempt at humor has failed.

Just so there aren't any questions, I DID NOT sleep with any printouts last night. I'm still feeling like shit but much better shit, if that is at all possible.

I had a case the other day that took me to a local animal shelter. I won't get into the details of the case because its still ongoing and quite honestly...not that interesting. I DID get a chance to roam around and look at all the pups looking for a home.

When I was younger, I had two dogs that grew up with from the age of...well, whatever age it is that you can remember walking around the house and having a dog in the house until I graduated from college. Since then, I really haven't been able to have a dog I could call my own, mostly because most places don't let you have pets out here in California unless you put down $1000.00 deposit and add insurance to whatever place you're renting. Big rip-off.

My parents have a dog at home that I'm hoping to dognap when I own my own home but I don't know exactly when that will be and I'm really missing having a dog. This trip to the pound got me all dog crazy but, I still live in a place that doesn't allow dogs.

So what did this mean?

I got to wander around this large pound, looking at all these sad dogs who got all crazy and excited when you walked by their gate and then of course the chain reaction barking where one little yipper goes on a barking frenzy and next thing you know it, every damn dog is barking...most of them probably have no idea why, except that Scruffy around the corner started it all and he must be barking for a reason!

This brings me to Scruffy. This is Scruffy:

He is two years-old and a Chihuahua/Jack Russell Terrier mix. According to the little bio attached to his cell...I mean Kennel, Scruffy also likes"

"sunbathing, playing in water, chasing birds and cats, curling up in the lap
of his loving owner while watching movies with the family, and basically
being the best dog-gone friend ANYONE could have!"

Can I just tell you that if I could have squeezed Scruffy through that gate, I would have? He also did this thing where he got up on his two back feet, put his front paws together and walked around. Suuuure he did it very awkwardly but he was so gawd damned cute!

I'm not going to bum everyone out by telling them that Scruffy is going to be put to sleep next week if he isn't adopted soon because I didn't ask.

I didn't want to know.

Sneezing 23 Times In A Row...Have I Broken Any World Records?

Ugh.

I'm thick. Tho, Tho, Thick. I feel like I can barely tink. My head feels like it's crammed full of cotton, my eyes are thwollen and waddery.

Ugh.

Okay, enough with the self pity. I don't get sick very often, but when I do, I'm a cranky bastard AND a big sniveling baby. Yeah, I freely admit it.

I took sick time off from work last Thursday because I couldn't take it anymore and coming back today...I still feel like crap. That explains no posts for over a week but I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and come to work today.

As strange as it is, being at work is comforting for me. I don't have a wife, or a full-time girlfriend, so when I get home late, I have a few friends who are up for a late dinner but they aren't always available, so sometimes it gets a little lonely.

This weekend really got me thinking about how much I miss being in a real relationship with someone. I've spent the last two years avoiding new relationships because I can barely handle the ones I'm in now...although that's not completely true. I don't know, I thought I was ready to start talking about my personal life but now I'm thinking it's not such a hot idea.

So I won't.

On to other MUCH more important topics! In trying to recover from my sickness, I was able to start catching up on all the blawgs on my list that I haven't been able to read because my eyes have been swollen shut for the last week and a half (I'm sorry, I had to throw in a poor me in here somewhere), and wouldn't you know it, I missed a very important announcement!

One of our very own, Public Defender Investigator Blawger and Creator of the Public Defender Investigator Network, GREG WORTHEN is receiving some well deserved recognition!

From the Coloradans Against The Death Penalty (CADP) website:

CADP is presenting the Abolitionist of the Year award to the Robert Harlan Defense Team of Kathleen Lord, Bryan Shaha, Raelee Knapp, Sharlene Reynolds, Wayne Diffee, Greg Worthen, and the late Terri Brake.

Greg says that he was only responsible for carrying the attorney's briefcases but we all know better. Good job Greg! If I was anywhere near Colorado, I'd have my dinner tickets and digital camera ready for the event. I realize that none of us do this for the recognition but like I've said before, In this business, it's nice to get a pat on the back every once in a while.

More later...I still have interviews to finish and reports to write.