She Gave Me Crabs

I was interviewing a witness the other day...today actually (I'm writing this on March 31) I'd been speaking with him for about 30 minutes when he finally decided to share something interesting.

First let me explain that this guy was the complaining witness or victim (as they are referred to on television...and in police reports) of a domestic violence incident. As it happens a good percentage of the time, this complaining witness was recanting or basically saying that whatever his girlfriend was accused of doing to him with a golf club and broken screen door...never actually happened.

The interesting part came when he chose to ask me a legal question. I told him I couldn't really give him any legal advice but of course he chose to ask me anyway.

Complaining Witness: So let me ask you a legal question....let me just get your legal opinion.

Sancho: Umm, I can't really give you legal advice. I'm an investigator, not an attorney.

Complaining Witness: Yeah whatever, sure. So...it's against the law to have unprotected sex with another person if you have AIDS or something like AIDS and you know it right?

Sancho: Ummm

Complaining Witness: Right.

Sancho: So, I gotta get going.

Complaining Witness: Well, I got crabs from her and I'm pretty sure she knew she had crabs when we hooked up.

Sancho: Your girlfriend gave you crabs?

Complaining Witness: No man! Are you listening to me? My girlfriends sister, she gave me crabs.

Sancho: Your girlfriends sister?

Complaining Witness: Yeah. So what do you think?

Sancho: Well, its not too cool for your girlfriend.

Complaining Witness: Nah man, do you think I got a case against my girl's sister?

Sancho: You got a case alright.

These are my days. Loads of fun kids.